The cigarette butts, the used condoms, the melted vinyl and the headlines of a million millennial mornings were churned in a blender like primordial ooze... Out of that psychotropic smoothie straw test tube crawled a hermaphrodite child who laughed in the face of modernity. It’s name was Uni. Where Uni looked it saw glitter and blood. Sutures on the dance floor and diamonds in the graves. Where Uni stepped it left flowers and what it touched burned violet and yellow. Uni used their guitars like a Tesla coil to summon electricity from the sky with cathedral amplifiers floating into an ocean of feedback and delay. That very flood freed three slaves and welded them into a single psychedelic hydra:
Kemp, the brain of Uni! ...Nico Fuzz, the heart of Uni!...David Strange, the balls of Uni! They wore high heels embroidered with stars to elevate them above the filth the enemy had spread like fecal peanut butter on planet earth. Kemp was the half crazed Boudicca who piloted the spaceship with her Orpheus rock riffs and led their armies into battle. David Strange was the warrior poet who could build anything with his bare hands and write lyrics to mesmerize the harpies, while summoning the devil on his double neck. Nico had flowers in his hair and broken glass under his nails. He wanted to heal the tectonic plates and could speak to insects. He sung like Orpheus and had one foot in the underworld, one foot in the future. Those who heard their music saw through the neckties of lying politicians and the banality of modern pop stars, freeing themselves at last from a digital prison. So Uni was immediately black listed from the radio and issued a warrant for indecent exposure charges which forced them to go permanently underground. It’s unknown where or when Uni will strike again. They appear without warning and claim responsibility for miracles in the strangest corners of the world. The number of followers that Uni has is rumored to be growing although few will actually admit to being a follower of this controversial cult.